Anna’s Story Part 65
Wow! I am so embarrassed by my past behavior. I was so awful. My attitude was so bad. What was wrong with me? How could I have been so pig headed, so stubborn, so stupid? I knew I was being difficult. I knew I was bing rude to almost everyone and uncooperative. I knew I was bad mouthing the very program that was giving me a place to live. I knew it and I didn’t care. I was angry – very angry deep down where I could not touch. I took it out on the people I could touch. I was angry about so many things. I was angry about the way I was raised. I was very angry at Ralph for leaving me. I was angry I had to take care of my kids. I was angry I had to live in a shelter. I was angry I had to follow so many rules. You name it and I was angry. Everything made me so mad: the bed was lumpy, the food was awful, the tub was dirty, the shampoo was the cheap kind, we ran out of toilet paper, another kid woke my kid up, the sun was too bright, the A/C was set wrong, the dishes in the sink weren’t mine or they were mine and it was still bad news. All of it. Every single thing.
Not any more. Now that I am in love with God, I am in love with life and I see how awful I was. Now I am ready to do it all. I actually want to clean and study and all the other stuff that will help me. So much catching up to do. I’d better not spend another minute writing.